Fixed
Location: in front of 50 Chipchase Road
Sent to Middlesbrough Council 2 minutes later. FixMyStreet ref: 87688.
Spreading with the simplicity and rapidity of Lurpak Spreadable warmed to a temperate 23C, an urban myth abounds in the Linthorpe locale...
Local tourist experts representing Middlesbrough's Centre Square big wheel and the Tees Barrage White Water Course expressed fears that attractions across the Tees Valley will soon be obsolete in the face of relentless competition from the phenomenon known as “Public Highway Potholing” (PHP). A term originating in the north of England, Potholing refers to the act of exploring predominantly vertical caves or ‘potholes.’
Several of these vertical caves have appeared along a stretch of Chipchase Road and recent reports suggest that several robust potholers have emerged “grimy but unscathed” after exploring potholes in the highway.
Keen to avoid a major incident, Linthorpe residents urge Middlesbrough Council to repair promptly the entrance to these veritable vertical caves.
Updates
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The pothole problem is exacerbating exponentially with the passage of time between the initial account of this issue and the imminent repair.
A number of Chipchase Road residents have described “substantial expanses of exposed cobblestones,” blaming ongoing severe weather conditions. One resident, who refused to be “blamed for lethal reasons,” gave a vivid account of “a pony and trap,” heard accessing Chipchase Road frequently “at a frantic canter shortly after dusk, like.” Throughout February, Middlesbrough velocipede emporium Bobby’s Cycles has been inundated with “hysterical requests” from Linthorpe residents eager to purchase Bone-shakers or Penny-farthings.
Leading Green activists have issued a statement in favour of “an immediate nationwide systematic suspension of pothole repair programmes” asserting that the erosion of Tarmac and exposure of cobblestones underneath “engenders a ‘blitz spirit’ and creates community cohesion.” They suggest that far from being a pernicious problem, “potholes have the potential to herald a nostalgic return to Halcyon days of yore” and all citizens should be urged to “continue to abandon contemporary automotive vehicles in favour of environmentally friendly, antiquated and traditional modes of transport suited to a cobbled surface.”
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These potholes were repaired promptly; many thanks.
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This report is now closed to updates from the public. You can make a new report in the same location.